New Blog
Now that I am on staff with Adventures in Missions, I will be transitioning over to a new blog, .
Occasionally I will still use this blog for things that I typically could not say on the other blog. For example, for all the spammers who posted pedantic nonsense for comments, you have yet to rid or deter me. What you have left is absolute bat shit. To my regular readers, check out the new workplace.
writer’s block…
…such a frustrating non-sequitur. Truly vast and void, where can I find my content, my material, my voice? So much could be said at so little a price, yet it is not at all who I am. To regal the uninformed of stories of minutia and narcissism as if they would make a more convincing read; I shall not participate in such nonsense. How shallow, how devoid they are of emotion, rational, spirit; I find myself unable to follow suit. Volumes and pages filled with indulgence are unnecessary and only prove to be the notions of a glorified sycophant. Writing must capture the heart and weight of the writer’s soul, if not, how frivolous it becomes and in reality, how pointless it is. To never settle for less, means to write few words that in all realms will speak more than volumes of pedantic and self-absorbed accounts of accomplishments or daily frivolity based on narcissism.
the war from within
Oh the fanciful life of those deluded visions of paranoia and granduer. Life feeling devoid of consistency and the propensity toward the everpresent gift, grace. So much constriction; breathability so scarce, leading to suffication. Swarmed by an onslaught of opinions and tangents, how can anyone be unbiased?
Truly understanding and comprehension are so unseen, that I cannot commit it to the information…how can I understand, better evaluate the issues if the explanation is mismatched and scattered. I want to be neutral, yet in the face of overwhelming phrasing and passion, I am left uncertain and choosing one side over the other.
“Is there any hope for peace or are we just deluded by fallicies of positive conjecture?”
Truth in point, any onlooker can play a side, prey on emotions, and speak about policies, politics, issues, and rights…most of which they have no coherent idea of what they are speaking in shallow verbatim. It is even easier to critque and criticize without finding or founding a viable solution…in reality, that is what most people do. For those of us who have heard both sides and experienced a bit of time toward the problemat hand, answers seem so very far away. Emotional involvement becomes legend in the eyes of absolute hypocrisy; degredation walks a fine line leaving those involved, in a very delicate state.
“we must know, we shall know”
It rings in my ears. Certainty and skepticism are no longer part of the equation; both rely so heavily on black and white contradictions that passion is left to the elements. Is there any hope left or does religion perpetuate double standards and hypocrisy, so much so that it stipulates what is right and what is wrong? What is acceptable? What was ordained by God?
Folly in the eyes of sycophants, cretans, and charlatans…to everyone else, a great disjustice and misunderstanding is encountered in their presentation. Human scapegoats and crones take your place, in order that you may forsake logic and reason, in order to embrace an abomination. Opinions become so absolute, that danger is around every turn. Presentation is everything, the buy-in is so misunderstood that wit has scarcely enough time to comprehend can intrinsic value.
…smoothtalkers will eventually have nothing to say; false prophets will run out of fear to prey on; contradictions will be found out; lies will fall to the ground; frauds will be charged for the fallicies that they present.
training camp
Intense…
…longing to be free amongst the myriad of faces and constraints of silence; a congestion of personas coupled with vibrance of individuality.
“who am I?”
…so commonly asked, yet not carelessly inferred. So basic a question, though deep a response. This becomes the beginning of a shifting, a desire to be; not a fragmented mess of competition. The answer given, when the questioner desires and opens to exposure.
“the seek has begun”
You so eloquently put, or really, you so eloquently design to give chase to those who question. You want them to question; you want them to desire, to long for you. You create a search for nothing less than where passion and boldness can unify and quantify their results; at least, as long as they are willing. A beauty is conveyed through this; appearing chaotic, though really, just mysterious and wondrous.
Discretion and comfort, vanish as if they were a fine haze, dissipating before an on-lookers very eyes. Caution eloquently put, is thrown carelessly to the wind. How great must this freedom be? How life altering can it be measured? Is it even quantifiable to the observer, or only to the one who experiences relief and release?
Something strange and beautiful occurs before our very eyes, a sense of being understood resonates on the soul as if to say, “I know you.” Pride and arrogance are casualties of this finite quest. Fear is held captive by the emergence of this new-found sense of love and passion. Frustration and competition die to never be revived again, due the overwhelming sense of freedom.
“the seek is on”
“Are we ready?”
the art of processing
amidst a swirling realm of thoughts and emotions, a flicker of light peers through the congestion. A shimmering glow consumes, engulfs the confusion. Rays of hope, shine through; joy resonates on a deeper level…
transparency
“That invisibility to which I refer occurs because of a peculiar disposition of the eyes of those with whom I come in contact. A matter of the construction of their inner eyes, those eyes withwhich they look through their physical eyes upon reality.”–exert from Invisible Man by Ralph W. Ellison
Lo and behold, the frustrations of being sacrificed. To see yourself, (for a lack of a clever metaphor, only to be exchanged by a colloquial image), thrown under a bus, in order that the plane in which you find yourself standing tall, be consistently firm. Evidently, you, yourself, are a product of a battle, as old as time; though value is displaced on you, the significance of your presence is however, not. You appear only as a prize for low moral arguments or phrased correctly, “conversations;” depicted in subjects of shallow and meager ideals. This is continued for a status quo to inhibit its very low moral quotient.
“Why?”
Triviality becomes the product of ignorance and pride.
The epoch of arrogance; distrought I am as I wander, not aimlessly but functionless, amongst those far too proud to be of “moral” standing, or as I pass that’s what they say.
a snide proposal; a moderate acceptance
Tackling questions of some unforseen emotional context; nowhere to contemplate. Worn down by instances and drivel responses that neither vindicate an emotional attachment not validate a vindicative response. Almost to ease anxiety, the mind drifts to and fro in order that time is not allocated on any particular flash of attachment. What must preside now? Do we give in and accept contradictions or fight a bittersweet war that in time will consume our soul and prove to be unsustainable?
Great Short Stories…
In keeping with the literature theme, I figured I would move on from books to short stories, a personal favorite genre of mine. These are shorter works of fiction and nonfiction, though do not be confused by their genre title, they are packed and filled with themes, symbols, and other literary devices. The only difference between a novel/book and a short story is that there is much less jargon and minutia to plough through; though it must be stated, I do enjoy sifting through diction and dialect in order to find meaning.
Below are a list of short stories that are impacting, insightful, and phenominal. They have changed the way readers and critics observe and analyze works of literature; for that very reason, is why I have chosen the selection that I have. I have made an effort to find links for all of these works so you may take the time to read and appreciate them yourselves. I hope you enjoy.
Winter Dreams by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Few would probably agree with me, but I would wager that this is probably one of the best pieces of fiction, Fitzgerald gave the American auidence, perhaps the world in general. I would also wager that at times, this work rivals his most famous of works, The Great Gatsby; again, merely an opinion, not a fact. Yet I would entertain the notion that this is quintasential Fitzgerald, down to a “t;” it has the character development, plot, and criticisms that all of his works have and in this short work, he plays with diction more so than in Gatsby or Tender is the Night. Dexter Green is a “Fitzgerald-style” character, in essence, the epitome of the 1920s culture and a person who will learn the harshness of the fallacy of dreaming to be rich. Though the criticism from story to story never truly changes with Fitzgerald, I feel that this story places more weight on the superficial lifestyle of society than his other workds; at times, it has parallels to Mainstreet by Sinclair Lewis, a modern contemporary of Fitzgerald. It is a “see it for yourself” type of story.
-Link- Winter Dreams
The Dead by James Joyce
Found in his collection of short work entitled The Dubliners, Joyce sets out to change the way stories and novels are read. In his uncommon belief, Joyce felt that the language of the work could stipulate meaning within as opposed to the framework of plot and characters. He set out to do just that and to fully appreciate his value, works such as Ulysses and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, would need to be taken into consideration. You can tell his style in the writings of Kurt Vonnegut and Anthony Burgess, so apparently, the writers diction and syntax can create meaning. To get back to the story, The Dead is a longer work that exhibits a great literary device, the epiphany. Gabriel Conroy goes to a party only to have a “glorious epiphany” which translates in a higher degree of self-awareness over the meaning of living, of life and death. A quite spectacular work of short fiction.
-Link- The Dead
Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Typically I would stay away from Hawthorne just because he is a writer I just do not enjoy on subconscious level; and yes I have read The Scarlet Letter and The House of the Seven Gables so I cannot be judged on that point. However, this short work of fiction is great read, filled with suspense and mystery only to lead up to a criticism of religion and morality. Hawthorne always seems to do this and I guess, when you are criticizing Puritans and Wesleyans of New England, its not a truly difficult task to do so, yet this is a story that becomes a great analysis for the early colonies of the Americas such as Jamestown and Plymouth. In this selection, Hawthorne tackled the issues of Christian radicalism of the time, namely witchcraft, and does so in a disturbing way that it is easy to see how he influenced Edgar Allen Poe, one of the greats in American literature.
-Link-Young Goodman Brown
The Yellow Wallpaper-Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Gilman work this story to criticize the way psychologists used solitude in order to combat depression in patients; now we know that this is a horrible treatment, yet in the late 19th century, we did not. Told in a series of journal entries, the unnamed narrator is confined to her attic as her husband feels that this will help relieve her depression and cure her of psychosis, something she developed after the birth of her first child. As she gradually loses her grip on reality she starts destroying the wallpaper in the attic, which is said to smell of dust and mildew. As she starts peeling down the wallpaper, something breaks inside of her and a sense of freedom overcomes her. Probably the only work of feminism that I will put on anything I write.
-Link- The Yellow Wallpaper
The Fall of the House of Usher- Edgar Allen Poe
Poe had to make it on this list, was there any doubt? I feel that this is quite possibly one of my favorite works of fiction by him, though The Cask of Amontillado always seems to appear on a short story list and it is due to its fear of being buried alive. I chose Usher because its complex, it is a story in which we can disect through many different frameworks of criticism. Poe preys on the fears of the reader throughout every work he created and this story is no different. Usher is told by an unamed narrator who visits his friend, Roderick Usher, who now is growing more hysterical by the day. He eventually learns that Usher buried his sister only to be haunted by the grizzly fact that she was not died when she was entombed. This is a great horror classic.
-Link- The Fall of the House of Usher
My Ten Favorite Books, #5-1
This is my follow-up post of my ten favorite books that have brought me much enjoyment. I think that I continue this tangent of literature this week. It becomes futile at times to encourage people to take an interest in literature just because so many feel that it is a waste of time or that it is boring. Such laziness is appalling to me. Well, enough of this tirade, let me show you the last five books that have impacted my life…
5. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
This is quintessential Vonnegut. Through the rants and raves, tangents, and the sporadic scribblings, Vonnegut tells a story within a story. Throughout its hollow exterior, beats the heart of a social commentary on the passing away of the natural world by a rough, gritty parallel universe. Dwayne Hoover is an “every-man” who loses grip on reality due to his infatuation with the famed science fiction writer, Kilgore Trout, a reoccurring character in a few Vonnegut novels. Beyond the simplistic story of a man losing his grip on reality, is a story in which Vonnegut keeps alive the best examples of culture on earth for future generations.
4. Main Street by Sinclair Lewis
Lewis’ satire on modern life in small, rural town, complete with gossip and laziness wrapped up in a tight little package. We follow the heroine, Carol, whose dream is to make a “main street,” a backward town into something respectable and a center for culture. She constantly comes across backwardness and is derided by gossip and simple-mindedness of the local women who have their thumbs on her every move. The novel embodies tones and messages that are as strong today and they were in the 20′s when it was originally published. Lewis takes a long hard look at the hypocrisy of suburban life and tackles the question whether it is better to be a radical or a conservative.
3. Midnight’s Children by Salmon Rushdie
This novel uses the style of magical realism to tell the tale of India’s history, after the partition from England and the split with Pakistan and Bangladesh. Rushdie’s all-knowing narrator, Saleem Sinai, was born on the stroke of midnight, August 15th, 1947, and who was endowed with special powers along with another 1,000 individuals. Saleem is telepathic and therefore has the ability to tell the tale of India’s independence from many different perspectives. The only thing standing in his way is Shiva of the Knees, another boy born at the stroke of midnight, who becomes a national war hero and is the exact anti-type of Saleem. Rushdie’s novel is absolutely clever and it is no wonder that it won the “Best of the Booker” awards. This will be a book and an author who will stand the test of time for generations to come.
2. Cry, The Beloved Country by Alan Paton
Alan Paton’s novel of South Africans living in the 1940s, pre-apartheid, painting a vivid picture of injustice and inequality facing these natives. Stephen Kumalo, a man of the cloth and of God, searched through the city of Johannesburg in order to find his son, Absalom, only to find out that his son is convicted of murder. Kumalo unwittingly promises his son that he will look after his new daughter-in-law and grandson. James Jarvis is the other father present in the novel who loses a son to Absalom, and who throughout the novel, grapples with the frustrations of inequality and racism in South Africa. Paton holds nothing back in this novel and though he tries to make this novel unbiased, its hard not to look at the white South Africans in a negative light; even though it is warranted.
1. Walden by Henry David Thoreau
This is my favorite book, one that I have read many times of the past ten years. I would say that this for me is an equivalent to how The Catch in the Rye was so impacting for many others. This book is more a work or nonfiction, not a novel, yet it is one of the greatest social commentaries on American culture. Thoreau held nothing back when he secluded himself in upstate Massachusetts for two year and proceeded to comment on every topic facing a 19th century New England American; from Economy to Solitude to Animals to Seasons, Thoreau gives his take on these topics. Beyond a tirade and a tangent from a hermit, Walden paved the way for Transcendentalism with the ideas of contemplation and self-actualization becoming the focal points of this new ideology.
My Ten Favorite Books, #10-6
I figured since I have been reading quite a number of books in the last three weeks, that I would list some of favorite reads. This is also in respect to the amount of graduates who will be leaving high school or college in the next few weeks; some of which have poor literacy or prefer to over-indulge on television as opposed to reading something far more valuable and enjoyable. Having said that, I am appalled at the literacy of this country and the fact that fewer individuals enjoy this great right and privilege that we all have the capacity to appreciate.
So without further ado, here is my list of books that have changed my life and that I still enjoy today.
10. Maus by Art Spiegelman
Yes, a graphic novel has made it to my list. As a historian, I enjoy the tale of Art Spiegelman’s tale of his father experience in Germany during the second World War as a Jew who was subjected to persecution and interment at Auschwitz. As a literature major, I love the symbolism that Spiegelman uses to characterize the individuals and groups portrayed in this novel; i.e., the Jews are represented as mice, the Germans are cats. What truly makes this such an involved read is that Spiegelman wrestles with the idea of “authorial intent” throughout the complexity of this work; it’s brilliantly executed.
9. A Visitation of Spirits by Randall Kenan
This work alludes to the Christmas Carol only to twist the plot into something ungodly. The main character, Horace, goes through predicaments that ultimately leading to his demise and then “visitation of spirits” all of which show the young necromancer the folly of his pitiful life. It is truly an allegory of Dickens’ classic and it succeeds that by destroying the message of redemption by ending on a moral conundrum, in which it does not choose to take the high road in. This novel makes one question the existence of the events in and around our lives; how could they have been shaped differently, will they ever make a difference in the true scheme of life?
8. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
I believe it is the only romance novel that I have on my list, but do not be confused by the genre; it shatters what the English audience would have felt about love and romance. Heathcliff is a character that many, including myself, can assert is hero, though not with the moral standards and demeanor that the mainstream would consider to be outstanding. I saw hero in the sense, that he is the main protagonist of the work, though he is arrogant, intelligent, and is dominant, both socially and presumably, sexually. He is an antitype for every heroic character that is found in the pages of pulp novels, which automatically makes this work enjoyable, at least to me.
7. Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
This is a great read and I was surprised that it did not make the cut for the 100 Greatest Novel put out by the Modern Library, though two of Vonnegut’s other novels, Breakfast of Champions and Slaughter-House Five, did make the cut. This book was written in the same fashion Vonnegut used for the premises of his novels, gritty and dark with the eminence of hope truly fading away. A complete social commentary founded strictly and almost religiously in a sarcastic mood with a satirical permeance promenading throughout its entirety. Vonnegut grapples with religion, nuclear arms and war, science, and the falsehood, that is morality in this novel, guised as science fiction.
6. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Fitzgerald’s novel of how the mighty will fall, characterized by the mentality of scarcity and selfishness, is one of the pinnacles of the Modernist movement. In the novel, the Roaring Twenties are dismantled and rebuilt in this social commentary. Dick Driver is taken from high success and respectability only to be brought to the threshing floor to be exposed for all his inherent flaws. Again, just like The Great Gatsby and The Beautiful and Damned, Fitzgerald tears apart the “American Dream” to show it as a myth and quite inescapably, a joke. In this novel, the 20th century was once again brought into the light only to be welcomes and exposed for the lies that it stood for.
